When I coach working moms there are four issues that repeatedly come up. I've summed them up in the acronym, D.E.A.L. They are:
Disease to Please: Often Working Moms fight hard to please others in her life but ignores her own needs and well-being. She’d rather say “yes” to any request because it’s easier to just “do it” than it is to say no. It’s hard for her to think of an “excuse” to not do something and would rather “just help out” so others will be happy and not ask anything more of... her hence she’ll be happy. It’s easy to get stuck in this mental state when you’re unaware of the disease to please and how to cure it.
Energy Management - The disease to please depletes personal energy. With the lack of education on energy management Working Moms don’t know or don’t have the time to learn ways to rebuild their energy. Energy will rise and fall and being aware of these ups and downs is empowering. Time management can only take her so far because even if she schedules things perfectly if she does not have enough energy things will either not happen or not happen as good as they could have been and mistakes will happen.
Assertiveness Techniques - There are many work/life choices Working Mom have to make. When she knows how to be assertive (and not feel witchy about it) in order to get what she wants she’ll be happier. This begins with understanding her personal values, professional values, and priorities. When she understands her VP’s she’s going to want to live according to them. Knowing how to stick up for what she wants and believe in will take assertiveness.
Loving yourself - Self-care is vital to a Working Mom's professional and personal success. She shows everyone else in the world love and there needs to be a focus on how to love herself. It begins with not being so hard on herself (we've all heard how cruddy perfection is). Next is overcoming the guilt that can surface when she starts thinking about doing things for herself. Then comes creating a self-care plan that she'll never want to resist.
If you're interested in learning how to D.E.A.L better check out some of these topics.
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I playfully call it the “disease” to please because it’s not truly a disease, right? Or is it? Check out why we exhaust ourselves trying to please others and how we can find a cure.
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When you combine managing your personal energy along with managing your time you will become happier, fully present in the conversation, and effective. Here's how.
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Now that you know want to cure the disease to please it'll take assertiveness. Here's an assertiveness technique called A-E-I-O-U that will help you manage those challenges conversations.
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Once your self-care becomes a primary priority everything else falls into place. Happy Mom! She's the bomb! Check out these tips on how to create a self-care plan you'll love.
If you have a challenge right now check to see if one of the above is at the root of the problem. If it is I invite you to connect with me over on my Facebook page to share what you're experiencing and how you believe one of these articles will help you out. If you can't find an article that gives you that ah-ha moment, please let me know. I want to make a difference in the Working mom-sphere and you can help make that possible.