What to Write in a Funny Birthday Card

A white letter board with black letters spelling out "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

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Love them or hate them—birthdays are a part of life. They signify growing older and wiser and they often mark major life milestones. Most people can agree that after a certain age, birthdays aren’t as fun as they were during younger years. Getting older may give some people a sense of dread and they can be annoying reminders that life is short. 

But birthdays should never be sad or forlorn and they should always bring feelings of happiness and celebration. Birthday cards should always make the recipient smile. If your friend or family member has a birthday coming up that they aren’t so excited about, you can easily turn their big day into a happy one by including a funny quip in their birthday card.

Age Antics

There is nothing wrong with aging, but it can be a fun part to play off of. If you do decide to include a joke in your birthday card, be aware of how it will make the recipient feel. Make sure it’s not rude or condescending, otherwise you may end up hurting your friend’s feelings and creating an issue in your relationship. Instead, stick to innocent antics.

Jokes about the recipient’s age are always a hit for birthdays. You may want to refrain from these if the recipient is particularly sensitive about this topic. But if not, don’t hold back. If they are reaching a milestone age, like 30 or 50, let them know how old they are getting. If you’re younger than them, you have even more ammo.

  • Happy birthday. Thanks for always being older than me.
  • Another year older, another year closer to the grave!
  • Now you’re over the hill! At least you can get senior citizen benefits soon.

Relationship Jokes

To find the perfect joke to include in your birthday card, consider your relationship with the recipient. Are they your sibling, spouse, friend, parent? Each comes with its own category of jokes. Use your relationship status to make your birthday joke even more funny.

  • Honey, you really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday. Do it tomorrow.
  • What is the meaning of a true friend? One who remembers your birthday but not your age!
  • Knowing someone as fabulous as me should be the only present you need. May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you've never met, haven't seen in years, or genuinely couldn't care any less about.

Laughable Quotes

Quotes are always great to include in cards, no matter what holiday or event you are celebrating. Find a funny quote that resonates with you and relates to the birthday card recipient. Look for ones from your favorite prankster or their favorite comedian to make your quote even more powerful (and more likely to make them laugh).

  • “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.” —Mark Twain
  • ”After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” —Bette Midler
  • “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling you to eat more cake.” —Jo Brand

Inside Jokes

If you are writing a note in the birthday card of someone you are close with, like a best friend or a family member, you can likely draw from your stack of shared memories. Think about a time when you two couldn’t stop laughing together. Maybe there was a comedy show you saw together or a funny incident that occurred while you were on vacation together. Whatever it is, use it to create a one-of-a-kind birthday message that will most definitely make them smile.

  • Happy birthday! Don’t celebrate as hard as you did in Vegas!
  • I hope you have as much fun today as you did on your wedding night.
  • Remember that road trip when we were teens? Let’s do it again, but this time, we’ll know how to change a tire! Have a great birthday.

Fun Birthday Wishes

You can still wish the birthday person well while being humorous. While your card may be gut-bustingly funny, be sure to actually let the recipient know that you are celebrating their big day with them. They will appreciate the sentiment and it will bring them yet another smile.

  • Happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful celebration.
  • Have an awesome birthday, buddy.
  • You deserve a wonderful birthday!
  • Congrats on turning one year older. Can’t wait to celebrate!
  • I’m so excited to celebrate your big day with you! Let’s party.
  • Happy birthday! Cheers to one year older!
  • Happy birthday! You’re the greatest!