Funny Quotes About Grandmas

Humorists Like Ellen Degeneres and Jeff Foxworthy Poke Fun at Grandmothers

humorous quotations about mothers and grandmothers
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Many of us have grown up around one or both of our grandparents and have fond memories of Grandpa teaching us how to fish or Grandma helping us learn to bake. In fact, these characteristics are often depicted in pop culture. For instance, some of the best grandmothers on television include the iconic Emily Gilmore on Gilmore Girls and Bernice from That 70's Show. Some of these fictional characters have gained so much traction due to their strong personalities that remind of us of our own grandmothers.

Funny Quotes From Comedians

Thankfully, we're not alone when it comes to Grandma's quirks—comedians in particular have shared their observances:

Rita Rudner, Stand-up comedian
"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."

Jean Kerr, Author of Please Don't Eat the Daisies
"When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales,' they don't necessarily think of chairs."

Jeff Foxworthy, Comedian and TV host
"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother—you're not sure what you've got, but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."

Henny Youngman, Comedian known for one-liners
"My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle."

Ellen DeGeneres, Comedian and talk-show host
"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

Phyllis Diller, Comedian
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."

Erma Bombeck, Humorist
"When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway."

Anonymous Quotes

With the current state of the internet, we may never know who first came up with these lines.

Read some simple quotes that were shared online, in greeting cards, and in memes:

"Mommy knows a lot, but Grandma knows everything."

While the "Grandma knows everything" trope is common in pop culture, it isn't always the most sound advice in reality. Even if it's true, the best thing a grandmother can do is to defer to the parents. At the end of the day, parents get to make the decisions about their children. Grandmothers who accept this from the very start are wise.

"Children are often spoiled because no one will spank Grandma."

The cliche that grandparents exist just to spoil their grandchildren is a very persistent one. In reality, grandparents shouldn't always spoil their grandchildren. In fact, many of them don't want spoiled grandchildren anyway. Thankfully, grandmothers who want to spoil their grandchildren will find that there is a "good" way to spoil them.

"What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's."

It can be dangerous to encourage grandchildren to keep secrets from their parents. However, this quote may remind some people of the harmless extra treats and indulgences that Grandma would give them when Mom and Dad weren't looking.