When You're Not Invited to the Wedding

What to Do If You're Not Invited to a Wedding (and Everyone Else Is)

Jealous woman ignoring friend's engagement ring
Getty Images/JGI/Jamie Grill

Some people might complain about being invited to too many weddings each year, but what happens if you're not invited to a wedding that you expected to attend? Perhaps you thought your relationship with someone was a little stronger than it actually is, and you didn't realize you were wrong until you didn't receive an invite to that person's wedding!

If you aren't invited to a coworker's wedding, you may be feeling left out, hurt, or embarrassed. Office politics can create some sticky situations, especially if you're one of the only people in the office to not get an invite. In this situation, there are a few options for how you could handle the embarrassment or hurt of being the only person not invited to your coworker's wedding.

Ignore It and Move On

Take the high road and accept the fact that you didn't get invited, but to try to put your best and most professional foot forward. There will likely be many more weddings to attend in your future, and if anything, you are now off the hook for having to buy a wedding gift. If you don't feel comfortable attending a work bridal shower, you can choose to opt out. Or, if you want to be the bigger person, still go to the bridal shower, wish her well, and try to forget about it. 

Confront the Person

If your feelings are truly hurt and you are feeling excluded, it could be beneficial to confront her (in a kind and concerned way, not an angry way). Explain that you thought you had a great working and friendly relationship and that you understand if this is the choice she made, but that you are feeling hurt and a little left out of the fun as the only person who wasn't invited. There could be a chance that it was a complete accident and she mistakenly left you off the list or even misplaced your invitation. 

Have Someone Else Inquire on Your Behalf

In the case above, it seems completely possible that there might have been a mixup and the person was accidentally overlooked or left out. If confrontation isn't your style and/or to avoid making things awkward, perhaps it would be best to find another coworker who could casually ask if everyone in the group is invited to the wedding. That way, if indeed the omission was intentional, a messy confrontation is avoided so that the working relationship can be preserved. 

What Not to Do

Absolutely, under no circumstances should you show up to a wedding uninvited. This is the ultimate disrespect to a couple and their wishes. If you're feeling that you were slighted, have the guts to ask the bride why you were left off the list or just let it go.