We all have heard shocking stories about cheaters getting caught. Certain professions, such as therapists, private investigators, and family law attorneys have heard quite interesting tales on this topic. It seems that sooner or later if you are cheating, you’re going to get caught.
In fact, Regina DeMeo, a Washington DC divorce lawyer states she has “lost count of how many of my clients have been caught cheating because they leave their email accounts open, or the log-ins are saved on a shared computer.” She goes on to say that “catching a cheating spouse has become significantly easier in the last 5 years thanks to modern technology.”
A good example was shared by Julie Surry, co-founder of fidelitydating.com and helpafterinfidelity.com. Surry states, “I was living with a man for 9 years and he got married to another woman behind my back.” She had stumbled upon a marriage certificate on his computer. Surry says she “Confronted him directly with the evidence and asked him to move out immediately.”
Tim McSpadden was inspired to create a movie about people who were caught cheating. One example from his movie, "Love a la Carte," comes from interviewing a married man named Phil. “He told me that he would never shop for dates with other married women at home, only while at work, which was in the Phoenix City Hall.” Tim goes on to say that “One day the IT department did an upgrade at a point when Phil was browsing for adultery. Somehow a virus froze his personal dating ad on a dating website onto all the computer screens of his co-workers.
There was a major sh*t-storm as all his co-workers got to read all his intimate, salacious, personal details. Phil was publicly humiliated, his career ruined and was forced to ‘resign’ that afternoon.”
Brad Robinson, a senior partner at The Millennium Group, a South Florida private investigation firm, has a movie-worthy story as well.
He notes, “We were hired by a woman to follow her husband, who she suspected of cheating. Both of them were in their 40's, outwardly upstanding citizens and active in their local church.” Robinson continues, “On the second day of surveillance, we followed the husband from work in the middle of the day to his church where we observed and covertly videotaped him entering the confession booth. An attempt to discreetly eavesdrop on his confession yielded little of value other than his statement that he was ‘feeling terrible’ about something.” He then states that the client came up with a brilliant plan after reporting this to her. “She confronted their parish priest, pretending the man had confessed his infidelity to her (he had not). The priest apparently took the bait and, in the process of counseling the woman, essentially confirmed her suspicions.”
Doctoral student Michelle Roberts didn’t need technology to discover she was on the victim of a cheating partner. Roberts reports that she was having dinner at her home with her family, including fifteen relatives, when her doorbell rang. She tells what happened next. “I open the door and I see a baby left at my door with no one around.
My then husband runs out the door yelling ‘Where did she go, where did she go?’ I look at the baby boy and it looks just like my husband. He admits it was his son…he had had an affair and I found out in front of my entire family.”
Former private detective, Roger Willard constantly got calls regarding cheating spouses in his practice. He has his own theory on how cheaters are eventually found out. “Most cheaters get caught one of three ways, they were dumb, cocky or they subconsciously gave enough clues to get caught. No need to explain dumb. Cocky is usually when they are already or should be heading toward a divorce. Finally, those who thought it was innocent flirting, at first, it soon became physical, and afterward, the guilt and they did not know how to end it. So, the cheater sends signals or unconsciously make deliberate mistakes.” Willard would even advise clients wanting dirt on their spouses that “Everything you want to know will come out in 6 months, so save your money!”
If you are a cheating spouse or a victim of infidelity, you may recognize some of the scenarios in this article. This behavior doesn’t usually come out of nowhere. Directly address any problems in your relationship before it’s too late. Don’t become another story someone tells about how cheaters are caught!
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