Marriage is a divine institution but brings with it some HUGE changes that you never had to worry about when you were just dating. If you catch any red flags with your significant other, things can be dissolved with a simple breakup. It will take a little time to work through it, but when it’s done, it’s done.
Dissolving a marriage is not so easy and simple. Divorce can be messy, costly, time-consuming and heartbreaking.
It is best to understand what you are getting yourself into when making this life-long commitment to hopefully lower the potential of a future divorce.
There are a few deal breakers that you should look into to make sure your potential spouse is worth marrying. While not a guarantee for a successful marriage, they can pretty much be a guarantee for a bad marriage if you and this person are not on the same page with these issues.
Debt is a big-time marriage killer. According to statistics, 1 out of 100 households will declare bankruptcy at some point. Debt is a factor that severely affects your ability to live a happy, fruitful life. Marrying a person with incredible debt brings you down as well—their debt is your debt.
While having student loans or a few hundred dollars in credit card debt is typically no big deal, marrying someone with poor credit and glaring, high-interest debt will create a negative atmosphere within a marriage.
Not only will it be tough to pay this debt off, but it also reveals your spouse’s irresponsibility, which can trickle into your joint finances and other areas of the marriage.
Overall, you should feel that you have similar attitudes about saving and spending. Money fights are one of the biggest issues that married couples fight over.
You should do your best to cut this off at the pass.
A person’s faith and religious beliefs are typically etched in stone and serious business. Even people who are not overly religious tend to want to pass these beliefs down to their children. For this reason, compromising on religious beliefs can be dangerous.
If they are a Catholic, you should be a Catholic. If you are an Atheist, they should also be an Atheist. You get the picture. Often the religious beliefs are reflective of one’s core values. Values that are aligned provide a promising chance of a successful union.
Religion is one of those topics that can create uncomfortable situations for all involved if you disagree. If you are thinking of marrying someone with a different religious background, do so at your own risk. At the very least, have open and honest dialogue around how these differences may impact you both.
Today, there are more ways than ever to control the number of children you have, if any. This should be a topic of discussion well before you are even engaged. If you want five kids but your soon-to-be wife is not sure that she is cut out for motherhood, there is no way you will talk her into it years from now.
She might naturally change her mind, but then again, she might not.
That 50/50 chance is dangerous territory to play around with if having kids is important to you. “Strong-arming” or tricking someone into having children is often just disastrous too. Be sure the two of you lay it out before putting the rings on.
A lasting, successful, marriage is no guarantee, so you should do whatever you can to make the best decision for you. Keeping these deal breakers in mind may be half the battle.
You may also like the article, Are You Really Ready for Marriage?
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