How the Tradition of Kissing Under Mistletoe Started

Black father holding mistletoe over daughter's head
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We are all familiar with at least a portion of the mysterious mistletoe's story. Everyone knows that kissing under the mistletoe has long been going on, especially as a Christmas tradition, although not everyone understands how this tradition started. Furthermore, few realize that this plant's botanical story earns it the classification of "parasite." And its literary history is a forgotten footnote for all but the most scholarly. Let's begin with a little taste of the latter:

Here were kept up the old games of hoodman blind, shoe the wild mare, hot cockles, steal the white loaf, bob apple, and snap dragon; the Yule-clog and Christmas candle were regularly burnt, and the mistletoe with its white berries hung up, to the imminent peril of all the pretty housemaids.

That is what Washington Irving wrote in Christmas Eve (from Irving's The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent). Irving relates the typical festivities surrounding the 12 Days of Christmas, including kissing under the mistletoe. He continues with a footnote: "The mistletoe is still hung up in farm-houses and kitchens at Christmas, and the young men have the privilege of kissing the girls under it, plucking each time a berry from the bush. When the berries are all plucked the privilege ceases."

We moderns have conveniently forgotten the part about plucking the berries (which, incidentally, are poisonous), and then desisting from kissing under the mistletoe when the berries run out.

Along with the holly, laurel, rosemary, yews, boxwood bushes, and, of course, the Christmas tree, mistletoe is an evergreen displayed during the Christmas season and symbolic of the eventual rebirth of vegetation that will occur in spring. But perhaps more than any other Christmas evergreen, it is a plant of which we are conscious only during the holidays. One day we're kissing under the mistletoe, and the next day we've forgotten all about it (although we may remember the kisses).

When the Christmas decorations come down, mistletoe fades from our minds for another year. Particularly in regions where the plant is not native (or is rare), most people do not even realize that mistletoe does not grow on the ground, but rather on trees as a parasitic shrub. That's right: As unromantic as it sounds, kissing under the mistletoe means embracing under a parasite.

Cure-All for the Druids

The variety common in Europe had religious significance in the minds of the ancients. The underpinnings of the tradition of kissing under mistletoe can be found in Celtic rituals. In Gaul, the land of the Celts, the Druids considered it a sacred plant. It was believed to have medicinal qualities and mysterious supernatural powers. The following reflections from the Roman natural historian, Pliny the Elder is part of a longer Latin passage on the subject (Natural History, XVI, 249-251), dealing with a Druidic religious ritual:

Here we must mention the reverence felt for this plant by the Gauls. The Druids—for thusly are their priests named—hold nothing more sacred than the mistletoe and the tree that bears it, as long as that tree be an oak...Mistletoe is very rarely encountered; but when they do find some, they gather it, in a solemn ritual...
After preparing for a sacrifice and a feast under the oak, they hail the mistletoe as a cure-all and bring two white bulls there, whose horns have never been bound before. A priest dressed in a white robe climbs the oak and, with a golden sickle, cuts the mistletoe, which is caught in a white cloak. Then they sacrifice the victims, begging the god, who gave them the mistletoe as a gift, to make it propitious for them. They believe that a potion prepared from mistletoe will make sterile animals fertile, and that the plant is an antidote for any poison. Such is the supernatural power with which peoples often invest even the most trifling things.

Norse Myths and the Mistletoe Tradition

The custom that developed there that led to our modern-day mistletoe tradition, according to Dr. Leonard Perry, was that if, while out in the woods, you happened to find yourself standing under this plant upon encountering a foe, you both had to lay down your arms until the following day.

This ancient Scandinavian custom led to the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe. But the tradition went hand-in-hand with the Norse myth about Baldur. Baldur's mother was the Norse goddess, Frigga. When Baldur was born, Frigga made each and every plant, animal, and inanimate object promise not to harm Baldur. Frigga overlooked the mistletoe plant, and the mischievous god of the Norse myths, Loki, took advantage of this oversight. Loki tricked one of the other gods into killing Baldur with a spear made from mistletoe. Hermódr the Bold was appointed to ride to Hel in an attempt to bring Baldur back. Hel's condition for returning Baldur was that absolutely every last thing in the world, living and dead, had to weep for Baldur. Failing that, he would remain with Hel. When this condition was put to the test, all wept except for a certain giantess, believed to be Loki in disguise. Baldur's resurrection was thus thwarted.

The ancient source for this Norse myth is the Prose Edda. But variations on the story about Baldur and the mistletoe have come down to us, too. For example, some relate it was agreed, after the death of Baldur, that from then on mistletoe would bring love rather than death into the world, and that any two people passing under mistletoe would exchange a kiss in memory of Baldur. Others add that the tears Frigga shed over the slain Baldur became the mistletoe berries.

It goes without saying that, if we were to peel off the layers of custom and myth surrounding kissing under the mistletoe in an attempt to discover its true history, we would find ourselves in the midst of ancient erotica. Mistletoe has long been regarded as an aphrodisiac and fertility herb. It may also possess the ability to cause an abortion, which would help explain its association with uninhibited sexuality.

Botanical Information on Mistletoe

The unusual botanical history of mistletoe goes a long way towards explaining the awe in which it was held by ancient peoples. For, in spite of not being rooted in the soil, mistletoe remained green throughout the winter, while the trees upon which it grew and upon which it fed did not (the European mistletoe often grows on apple trees; more rarely on oaks). The fascination this must have exerted over pre-scientific peoples is understandable.

Most types of mistletoe are classified as partial parasites. They are not full parasites since the plants are capable of photosynthesis. But these mistletoe plants are parasitic in the sense that they send a special kind of root system (called "haustoria") down into their hosts, in order to extract nutrients from the trees.

Various types of mistletoe grow all over the world, so it is difficult to generalize about the plant. Mistletoe is in the Loranthaceae family. The flowers of tropical mistletoes can be much larger and more colorful than the small yellow flowers (later yielding whitish-yellow berries) that Westerners associate with the plant. The mistletoe common in Europe is classified as Viscum album, while its American counterpart is Phoradendron flavescens.

The U.S. is also home to a dwarf mistletoe, called Arceuthobium pusillum. The latter is not something that you would want growing on your landscape, since it harms the trees that it uses as hosts. Even the hemiparasitical mistletoes are far from beneficial to their hosts. A. pusillum is fully parasitical, having no leaves of its own, and since there are no leaves to harvest from this plant, dwarf mistletoe is even useless as a Christmas decoration.

While partyers focus on kissing under the mistletoe, and while botanists concentrate on distinguishing partially parasitical mistletoes from the fully parasitical types, the medical profession has begun to investigate the alleged benefits of mistletoe to human health. Actress Suzanne Somers increased public awareness of the research taking place on mistletoe as a possible cure for breast cancer. Somers opted to treat her breast cancer with Iscador, a drug made from a mistletoe extract

Origins of the Word, "Mistletoe" 

The origin of the word, "mistletoe," itself is every bit as complex and obscure as the botany and myth surrounding the plant. 

The word originated from the perception in pre-scientific Europe that mistletoe plants burst forth, as if by magic, from the excrement of the "mistel" (or "missel") thrush. According to Sara Williams at the University of Saskatchewan Extension, "mistel" is the Anglo-Saxon word for dung, while "tan" is the word for twig—so the name mistletoe literally means "dung-on-a-twig."

While belief in spontaneous generation has long been discredited, the word origin of "mistletoe" is not as fanciful as one might at first think. In fact, the plant is spread by seeds as they pass through birds' digestive tracts.

Folks had known for some time that the berry of mistletoe plants is a favorite treat of the mistel thrush. So, while their reasoning was somewhat askew, the old-timers were justified, after all, in naming mistletoe plants after the bird most responsible for spreading it around.

Its Famous Literary Past

As might be expected from a plant that has held people's fascination for so long, mistletoe plant has also carved out a niche of fame for itself in literary annals. Two of the better-known books of the Western tradition feature a particular mistletoe shrub prominently, one given the pseudonym of "golden bough." 

In Virgil's Aeneid, the most famous book in classical Latin literature, the Roman hero, Aeneas makes use of this "golden bough" at a critical juncture of the book. The golden bough was to be found on a special tree in the grove sacred to Diana, at Nemi, a tree containing a mistletoe plant. The prophetess, Sibyl instructed Aeneas to pluck this magic bough before attempting his descent into the underworld.

Sibyl knew that, with the aid of such magic, Aeneas would be able to undertake the perilous venture with confidence. Two doves guided Aeneas to the grove and landed on the tree:

...from which shone a flickering gleam of gold. As in the woods in the cold winter the mistletoe—which puts out seed foreign to its tree—stays green with fresh leaves and twines its yellow fruit about the boles; so the leafy gold seemed upon the shady oak, so this gold rustled in the gentle breeze. (Aeneid VI, 204-209).

The title of Sir James G. Frazer's anthropological classic, The Golden Bough, derives from this very scene in Virgil's Aeneid, but just how can something green like mistletoe plants become associated with the color, gold? According to Frazer, mistletoe could become a "golden bough" because when the plant dies and withers (even evergreens eventually die), mistletoe plant acquires a golden hue. Botany and folklore most likely must be mingled to arrive at the full explanation.

The perception of goldenness in the dried leaves of mistletoe plants was probably influenced by the fact that, in the folklore of Europe, it was thought that mistletoe plants in some cases are brought to earth when lightning strikes a tree in a blaze of gold. And a fitting arrival it would be, after all, for a plant whose home is halfway between the heavens and the earth.