There are two reasons why people still use the 80’s term “balance” to name their search for curing their chaotic life.
1. They are too busy trying to sort out life to figure out another word.
2. SEO and Google love the term.
There have been many suggestions for a different word or phrase because some feel like the word balance is misleading (I agree!!) Jack Welch said there’s no such thing as balance, there are only the choices you make about work and life.
Then there’s work/life integration or blend. The focus lies in bringing the two together while accepting there will be compromises. These terms are much better than balance, but there’s more work to be done.
It doesn’t have to be a big mystery
When we are trying to effectively and efficiently describe what we lack, we use the term “balance”. The word balance means something is out of whack, life feels chaotic. Instead of talking or thinking about our feelings we slap a word on it and say “I need balance.”
When we crave “balance” it may be because we’re confused. Maybe if we learn how others are calming their chaos it will help. Yes, this could help, but this is procrastinating about making a choice. We believe we can’t make the right choice or don’t know how to so if we go read about someone else balancing work and life well we’ll discover the BIG secret.
That’s what balance is about to many people.
“Balance” is this BIG mysterious secret that everyone is looking for like the Holy Grail, the fountain of youth, or the secret of life. Balance or curing your chaos does not need to be a mystery unless you choose to make it one.
It’s About Your Choices
The most challenging choice is making the choice to choose.
We feel like things are forced on us. We believe that business needs to equal busy-ness. We believe that if we want a glamazon lifestyle there will be sacrifices. Then we just hope for the best!
Here’s what it boils down to. What we really need is to strengthen our emotional intelligence and get in touch with the emotions that we are feeling. It’s not always about looking for the best shortcut. Listening to what makes other’s happy may give you clues but you would find the answer quicker if you were to answer a few questions:
1. What feels out of whack? Why is it out of whack? What happened to bring you to this moment? What did you expect to happen?
2. What are your intentions today, tomorrow, this week, this month, this year? When you have a plan you don’t feel as lost. You’re working toward something which can give you blips of achievement. What choices could you make to fulfill your intentions?
3. Which emotion are you feeling and why are you feeling it? What set it off or sparked the emotion?
Look within and do the work
If we were to just look within and feel we wouldn’t be looking for balance, we would want to discover clarity. There’s only one you and only you know how to manage your life the right way (the way you want it).
Only you know what makes you happy with your work and your life. Resist avoiding yourself by thinking “Oh, this is how she’s doing it. Maybe I should give that a try.” because this is a waste of time and energy. The reason why we don’t look into how we feel because that’s just more work we feel we don’t have time for.
Life isn’t easy, the answer isn’t on the internet. The answer isn’t within this article! The answer is for you to turn your computer off, sit, think, do the work, and make a choice. That’s the answer.