New Year's Resolutions for Your Marriage

How to make some resolutions for you both as a married couple

Photo: John Foxx / Getty Images
Photo: John Foxx / Getty Images

Ring in the New Year together and make a conscience decision to create both personal as well as relational goals. Most people just think about what they want to work on or achieve within themselves. But, if you are in a committed, long term relationship (such as marriage) or have a family, why not extend your thinking to include the loved ones who impact you every day? Therefore, if you do make New Year's resolutions, the two of you should make one resolution together that will benefit your relationship.

 

Old or Familiar Patterns

This is the time of year that you may get those old familiar urges to make a resolution to make change in your lives, to do better, to be better, to love more, to get out of debt, etc. This is good, but only to a point.

Too often good intentions and resolutions turn out to be rather large failures and you may think less of yourself. This is not a good way to start a new year. Additionally, your own or your spouse's poor self-image can have a very negative impact on your relationship.

Making a Couple Resolution

In addition to your personal resolutions, here are some ways the two of you can make one resolution that will enhance your marriage. 

  • Organize photographs together. Take a walk though your memories together and talk about them. You can organize them or create some albums. If you have kids, they often love to hear about life before they were born. Have some fun telling them these stories. 
  • Have more candlelight dinners. It is great if you are already eating many meals together and having date nights. Try to step it up a notch and agree to have several super romantic dinners together. You don't even have to go out to a pricey restaurant! Do it right at home.  
  • Do something to simplify your life together. Agree to change or eliminate several time-suckers. Decide this as a couple. 
  • Have a dialogue with each other daily. Make a point to sit down and talk for at least fifteen minutes at the end of your day regardless of how busy, stressed or overwhelmed you are. 
  • Watch romantic movies togehter. After the movie have a discussion about it and reflect on any parallels to your relationship. 
  • Pay off a major debt. This is a lot less romantic, but, it can be a huge weight off your shoulders if you are able to focus on this over the next year. 
  • Plan a second honeymoon. There a loads of romantic vacations you could take. Start planning!
  • Plan a project for your yard. Planning and implementing a new landscape or garden is a unique way to spend time together. 
  • Listen to some love songs together. 
  • Read a marriage-related book together. 
  • Say I love you more often. Say the words to each other more or be more loving and affectionate with each other. 
  • Discuss marriage mistakes. Have a deep and heartfelt conversation about what you wish you had done differently.
  • Plan to go to a couples workshop. Work on your marriage in an intention way or rediscover each other. 

 

Continue to page 2 for some general guidelines for creating successful resolutions. 

*Article Updated by Marni Feuerman

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Before making any resolutions, either personal or as a couple, consider using these guidelines so that you are successful this year.

  • Pick only one or two resolutions.
  • Make sure that your resolutions are achievable.
  • Your resolutions should not depend on anyone else or on the two of you receiving a financial windfall or the like.
  • Make the time frame for your resolution a short one. Three weeks to a month is long enough.
  • Share your plans with someone else for encouragement, support, and accountability.
  • Reward yourselves when you are successful.
  • Re-evaluate at the end of the time period. Decide if you want to continue the resolution, modify it or look for a new one.

Go back to New Year's Resolutions for Couples

Happy New Years!

*Article Updated by Marni Feuerman

WANT MORE GREAT MARRIAGE ADVICE? SIGN UP FOR THE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER!