Pirate Jokes and Riddles and More Pirate Fun

The Possibilities ARRRRRR Endless!

grandfather and grandson enjoy playing pirates together
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Kids love jokes and pirates, so pirate jokes are sure to be a hit. Of course, there are a million jokes based on ARRRRRR, and older grandkids will have fun making up their own, especially those based on favorites. What's a pirate's favorite fast-food restaurant? ARRRRRRby's! Favorite class? ARRRRRRt! Favorite food? BARRRRRRbeque! The possibilities are infinite.

Read on for more pirate jokes and riddles for kids, or check out this collection of jokes with a Halloween theme.

Riddle Me This, Part One

  1. Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet?
  2. Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap?
  3. Why did the pirate buy his earring at the dollar store?
  4. Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
  5. Why couldn't the kids go to the pirate movie?
  6. What do you call a pirate who skips class?
  7. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
  8. Why do pirates like Apple?
  9. Why don't pirates get hungry when shipwrecked on an island?
  10. What does a pirate always look for, although it's right behind him?

The Answers

  1. Because they get stuck at "c."
  2. So if shipwrecked they can wash themselves ashore.
  3. He only wanted to pay a buck an ear.
  4. Because he was standing on the deck.
  5. Because it was rated ARRRRRR.
  6. Captain Hooky.
  7. A rookie.
  8. Because they invented the Aye Pod.
  9. Because of all the sand which is there (sandwiches there).
  10. His booty.

Riddle Me This, Part Two

  1. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
  2. Which side of the boat do pirates avoid?
  1. What's the difference between a pirate and a strawberry farmer?
  2. Why did the pirate cross the road?
  3. How do you make a pirate very angry?
  4. Why do pirates make the best singers?
  5. What happened to the pirate whose wooden leg caught fire?
  6. What did the ocean say to the pirate?
  7. Why didn't the pirate shower before he walked the plank?
  1. Why are pirates pirates?

The Answers

  1. A bird that will talk your head off.
  2. The outside.
  3. A pirate buries his treasures, and a farmer treasures his berries.
  4. To get to the second-hand shop.
  5. You take away his "p."
  6. They love to hit the high Cs.
  7. He burned to the ground.
  8. Nothing. It just waved.
  9. He figured he would wash up on shore.
  10. Because they just ARRRRRR!

More Pirate Fun

The grandchildren will enjoy other pirate themed fun. If you have grandma camp or cousin camp for your grandchildren, why not make it pirate camp? A picnic table can become a ship, and the grandchildren can make newspaper swords and pirate hats. They can dine on fish sticks and snack on goldfish crackers. You can also host a sleepover with a pirate theme. Here are some ideas that would be good for these or for any grandchild visit:

Pirate Treasure Boxes. Take inexpensive cardboard or paper mache boxes that you can buy from a craft store and cover them with fake jewels and other trinkets. Older grandchildren can participate in this part, or you can create the treasure boxes as a surprise. Fill the boxes with items for pirate play, including eye patches, shiny "pieces of eight," bandannas, spyglasses, fake mustaches and the like. Items for the treasure chest can come from dollar stores or party stores.

Treasure Hunts. Hide a "treasure" somewhere indoors or outdoors and draw a map to help the grandchildren find it. Learning to read a map is a useful skill for kids. You can also use my clues for an indoor treasure hunt or an outdoor treasure hunt and put pirate-themed treats at the end.

Outdoor Games. Adapt a traditional outdoor game so that it has a pirate theme. This is easy to do with capture the flag -- simply make the flag a skull-and-bones and carry on! You can also play four-square ball and replace the king-queen-jack-peasant squares with captain-matey-sailor-cabin boy.

More Pirate Games. If you have more than one or two grandkids, you can play these pirate-themed party games. The grandchildren will have great fun walking the plank and tossing cannon balls!

Build a Boat. Small pirates will enjoy turning a large cardboard box into their own pirate ship.

Don't forget to celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day Every September 19!

Want more Halloween jokes? Check out these witch jokes, vampire jokes, skeleton jokes and ghost jokes. You'll also get a chuckle out of these animal riddles and food jokes for kids.