Premarriage Questions List

Make Sure The Two of You Discuss These Questions

Man proposing to girlfiend outdoors
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The success or failure of your marriage relationship depends on how well you handle a number of personal issues. Review these questions with your partner.

Relationship Goals & Personal Habits

  • Why are we getting married?
  • What do we as a couple want out of life?
  • Do you think our relationship will change after we are married?
  • What do you think we'll be doing in thirty or forty years?
  • How often do you drink?
  • Have you ever hit someone?
  • Do you have a criminal record?
  • How would you describe yourself?
  • How do you think I see you?
  • Do you think it is important to know one another's physical and mental health histories?
  • Will you clean the toilet?
  • How are we going to divide up the household chores?
  • Does religion play an important part in your life?
  • Do you think faith and spirituality are important in a marriage?
  • What is your image of God?

​​Finances

  • Can we talk about money?
  • Are you a saver or spender when it comes to money?
  • How much do we owe in debts and what are our assets?
  • Do you want to have a budget?
  • Where does our money go?
  • Should we have a joint checking account or separate accounts or both?
  • Who is going to be responsible for making sure that bills are paid on time?
  • Do you consider going to the movies and having a vacation every year a necessity or a luxury?
  • What are our financial goals?
  • Do you have any outstanding fines or debts?
  • What are our future plans for purchasing a home?
  • Do we both know where our important financial documents are located?​

​​Family

  • Do you want to have children?
  • Do we want to have children?
  • If we decide we do, how many children do you want to have?
  • How long should we be married before having children?
  • What kind of parent do you think you will be?
  • What is your parenting philosophy?
  • Will one of us stay home after we have children?
  • What type of birth control should we use if we want to postpone or prevent parenthood?
  • How do you feel about adoption?
  • Do you have any children already?
  • What was your childhood like?
  • Was your family an affectionate one?
  • Do you think we will have problems with your family during the holidays?
  • What values do you want to bring from your family into our marriage?
  • What do you like and dislike about your family?
  • What do you like and dislike about my family?
  • What do you like and dislike about your parents' marriage?
  • What do you like and dislike about my parents' marriage?
  • How much time will we spend with our in-laws?

Sex & Intimacy

  • Can we talk about sex?
  • Should we talk about sex?
  • Are you comfortable discussing your sexual likes and dislikes?
  • What are your expectations of our sexual relationship?
  • Am I a jealous person?
  • Do I have trust issues or feel insecure?
  • How important are ​affirmations to me?
  • Do I handle compliments well?
  • What is your love language?
  • Do you think we listen to one another well?
  • Do you think it is important to be faithful to one another?
  • How do you want to spend our days off?
  • What are your expectations about how we will spend our free time?
  • Do you believe that we should be doing everything together?
  • Can we each pursue our own interests?
  • Do you need time alone?
  • How would you feel if I want a night out with my friends now and then?
  • How will we make sure we have quality time together?​

Conflict & Communication

  • How will we make decisions together?
  • Are we both willing to face into difficult areas or do we try to avoid conflict?
  • Do you think we have problems in our relationship that we need to deal with before our wedding?
  • Do we handle conflict well?
  • How are we different?
  • Do you think our differences will create problems in our marriage?
  • Do you expect or want me to change?
  • Can we both forgive?
  • Are we both willing to work on our communication skills and to share intimately with each other?