What To Do When You Quit Feeling Like Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

A picture of a stay-at-home mom who feels like quitting
The day-to-day frustrations are adding up. What should you do if you quit feeling like being a stay-at-home mom. Photo © Altrendo Images / Getty Images

Anyone who thinks being a stay at home mom is easy has never actually been a SAHM. Many days are great. And some days are tougher than anyone would like to admit. So what do you do on those days when you feel as if you want to quit being a stay-at-home mom because a full-time job with a boss breathing down your neck would still be much easier?

Stop Feeling Like You're a Failure

You are probably you're own worst critic.

When the kids are acting up, you blame yourself. When you're feeling blue for no real reason at all, you blame yourself.

Stop feeling like you're failing as a parent and give yourself some credit. So your child hasn't skipped a grade while the neighbor mom's has. Who cares that your children are the loudest in the neighborhood? Cut them some slack and yourself too while you're at it. Let your kids be kids and enjoy them. You know how to discipline your children when needed and you're raising them the right way. Don't beat yourself up that you're not the picture-perfect family all the time. Nobody's family is.

Seek Out Your Mom Friends

No one understands exactly what you're going through like your mom friends. Trust your gut and find a friend you can confide in. Chances are, she'll confess she's felt the same way too.

Your mom friends are an excellent resource for you. They are your lifeline so make sure you plan regular get-togethers, whether it's through a casual play date or scheduling a mom's night outing.

Take a Break for Yourself

Of course you love your kids. But sometimes you just need a break from them.

Don't feel guilty. You deserve some alone time. Take a break and indulge yourself in some sanity-saving downtime just for you.

Find Something Just for You

It's easy to lose touch with who you were before you had kids when you're spending all day taking care of tiny people.

Whether you want to try a new hobby or pick up one of your other interests where you left off, find something just for you.

You need something for yourself. All yours. Try one of 55 things you can do for yourself with little kids under foot, start a blog on a topic that interests you or pick up a creative hobby that's actually useful for stay-at-home moms. Find something for yourself and run with it.

Pick Up a Part-Time or At-Home Job

Test the waters to see if you want to go back to work full-time. Take on a part-time job or an at-home job that's perfect for stay-at-home moms. You can earn some extra cash for your family while giving yourself a new opportunity to explore.

Often times, you'll find you have the best of both worlds. You get to be at home with your kids a majority of the time but you also have a way to earn money, challenge yourself and meet new people. It's a win-win.

Look for Child Care Alternatives

Being a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean you have to tether yourself to your kids 24/7.

It's just as good for your kids to be out of the house for a while as it is for you.

Look for affordable child care alternatives that let you run errands without kids in tow or simply give you some peace and quiet around the house for the morning a couple of days a week. You can even start a sitter's cooperative among your mom friends so all of you can rotate days so everyone gets a much-needed break from time to time.

Don't Let Others Negatively Affect Your Outlook

Even a day in the life of a stay stay-at-home mom doesn't give you the true experience of living this life 24/7. So when someone makes you feel as if what you're doing isn't significant, you have a couple of options.

You can let them get into your head and make you feel bad about wanting to be with your children as opposed to letting a stranger practically raise them when they spend 40 or so hours a week in daycare. Ultimately, those people win because they accomplish what they set out to do, which was to make you doubt your decision to stay home.

Or, you can hold your head high and know that you are making the best decision for your family. It doesn't matter if your mother-in-law is on your back or if a working mom fueling the mommy wars. The source of the comments is irrelevant. 

Stop Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

Can't get over the feeling that you want to quit being a stay-at-home mom. Guess what? The world will keep on turning if you put your SAHM title in retirement.

Just as you talked to your spouse about becoming a stay-at-home mom, keep him in the loop now that you're thinking of leaving at-home parenting. You don't want to surprise him by saying, "I'm going back to work!" as you switch off the lamp on your nightstand for the evening.

And if you do decide to stop being a stay-at-home mom, make sure you leave room in the conversation so you can quit your job to come back to at-home parenting if you change your mind. Moms should never be judged on their decisions. The choices they are making are right for their family and that's what matters the most.