In all relationships, marriage included, it is normal for couples to argue. But, how can you tell if the arguments that you are having are healthy or are a sign of a poor relationship? Having many more negative interactions than positive ones may have you questioning your relationship. If you are already starting to wonder about the future of your marriage there are some ways to tell if there really is problem to worry about.
Here are five telling signs that will help you determine whether or not your marriage is on the rocks:
1. You are both talking but not communicating.
A relationship is also a partnership where both parties deserve to be heard. However, if you end up doing all of the listening while your partner does all of the talking, then it is time for you to speak up and make yourself heard. The same goes for your partner. Most importantly, you should make it to a point that you truly and actively listen to your partner's grievances or worries. Be sincere. If either of you is not willing to listen or compromise, then it is a clear sign that your marriage may go down the tubes.
2. You no longer respect each others' opinions and ideas.
Communication plays a vital role in maintaining healthy relationships. You should feel free to talk with your partner about almost anything, and vice versa. If your partner is not willing to respect your opinions and ideas regarding crucial matters, then your marriage is in trouble.
You will not want to continue in a relationship where you always have to set aside your own ideas just for the sake of pleasing your partner. On the flip side, do you believe your spouse is not worthy or respect because of their values or behavior?
The core of good communication patterns that promote intimacy between couples involves the safe and open communication of deep thoughts and emotions, not the stifling of ideas that leads to reactivity or superficiality.
And a good relationship has mutual respect.
3. You are spending less time with each other.
Gone are those days when both of you enjoyed every bit of time that you spent together. Now, you are beginning to feel that something has changed, and it is not feeling good. What is even more alarming is if you enjoy being with your friends more than being with your partner. This issue may stem from a variety of factors, but it is a definite sign that something is wrong. Your connection with your spouse is of the utmost importance to keeping your relationship going.
4. You are starting to have doubts as to whether you married the “right one.”
Are you having doubts about your feelings for your spouse? Are you often bothered by the thought that you made a mistake agreeing to spend the rest of your life with this person? If this is the case, it is definitely time to rethink and reassess your relationship. If certain personality traits of your partner that you once adored are now driving you insane, your marriage is in the danger zone.
5. Neither of you are willing to put in extra effort to make your marriage work.
As the popular saying goes, "It takes two to tango." Thus, you and your partner must ensure that you are both putting an equal amount of effort into making your relationship work.
If you do your part, and your partner does not even act like he or she is willing to put in the required effort, then you may be headed toward “Splitsville.”
Your marriage is like a plant. It needs a lot of care, attention, and nurturing in order to thrive and grow. If you notice some of these warning signs in your own relationship, it is time to take a risk and discuss your fears in a heartfelt way with your partner. If you still have difficulty getting back on solid ground, perhaps it is time to seek professional counseling to improve your relationship.