Congratulations on your marriage! Now that the ink is dry on the marriage certificate, the honeymoon has been taken and all of the wedding gifts has been carefully placed in your new home, you are probably ready to sit down and settle into married life. That's all fine, but many newlyweds make serious social mistakes after their wedding, and those blunders can cost you your friends, and in the direst of circumstances, your marriage.
Here are three common social mistakes that newlyweds tend to make:
Mistake #1: Alienating Your Friends
Now that you're married you want to share the happy news with everyone on your friends list. You probably want to shout it from the rooftop of every social media site in existence, but tread lightly with these things. Inundating your friends with posts about being married and a plethora of wedding pictures can quickly have them rolling their eyes. Keep it short and sweet. Your good friends know you are married and are happy for you, but that doesn't mean they want to see 8,000 pictures from your wedding, broken down into chunks of 30 pictures every, single day for the next year. While your marriage might be the epicenter of your existence, it is not something your friends are that interested in. Take a step back and figure out if you have become one of those annoying “Facebookers,” then lay off the pics or awhile.
Mistake #2: I Became a We (To an Extreme)
You are freshly married and draped in a cloud of true love and wedded bliss. That is great news, but do not let your happiness take away your individuality. Believe it or not, married couples are allowed to have individualized thoughts. You can think something without turning it into a "We think..." all the time.
Make sure you make some time to do things you enjoy separately from your spouse and remember to form your own opinion and leave your beloved out of it. Research shows spending some time apart and having individualized interests is a good thing for marriages, both early on in them and later down the road.
Mistakes #3: You Complain About the In-laws
So, maybe your husband's mother isn't your cup of tea. Maybe you always knew that but overlooked it for all of the wedded bliss promises that were coming down the pipeline. Now that you are officially married, you have figured out that your husband's need to call his mom when he wakes up is incredibly annoying. While you may be tempted to talk about it, or even argue that his mom is overbearing, this is often not a good idea. It is also wise to not complain about your in-laws to your friends. Whether you have in-laws sent from heaven, or you have inherited a monster-in-law, it does not really matter. You do have to co-exist with these people and berating his mother, father or brother who can't hold a job to him probably will not do anything spectacular for your marriage.
Unless you honestly believe his family members are toxic, you should just grin and bare it.
Or, sit down for a serious discussion with your spouse about boundary concerns in a mature and diplomatic way. Remember, you do not have to love them like they are your own family, but you absolutely do have to be civil and tolerate them for your marriage's sake.
Although these three mistakes are not egregious, they can definitely be problematic. Getting married is an incredible journey and there is a “learning curve” for the new life you are now creating together. Don’t make some of these social slip-ups along the way.