How to Stop Dreaming About Rest and Relaxation

Here's how to slow down right now

How to stop life and just relax
Getty Images/Sean Justice

Many Working Moms dream about rest (and sleep).  There’s so much to do, with very little time to do it, and sometimes the only solutions are to work until exhaustion hits or just give up and expect chaos tomorrow.

How can a Working Mom relax when she’s pushed to keep working?

If you are a Working Mom you have definitely earned the right to relax.  Here are three tips to help you find your way to rest and relaxation because you have the right to do so!

Figure Out How To Clearly Communicate Your Needs... Then Do It

Communicating your needs can give you the time you desire to rejuvenate your personal energy. 

When you are running around consumed with busyness you daydream about relaxing.  What would happen if you shared your dream?  

First, you need to share in the right way. 

Have you ever hinted at something like this “Wish I could be sitting down right now”?  This kind of suggestion is what Malcom Gladwell’s book, “Outliers, The Story of Success” refers to as “mitigated speech”.  Gladwell says we would use mitigated speech when we want “to downplay or sugarcoat the meaning of what is being said.” 

I suggest that Working Moms avoid mitigated speech at all costs!  We don’t have the time or energy to hint or sugar coat what we need.  So instead of using the previous hint try this:  “I need to sit but I feel that dishes need to be done.  Let’s switch spots."

If you aren't clear about what you need it can be challenging for people to read your mind or the signs that you’re giving off.  None of us are mind readers, right?

This brings me to my second point, when you have that wishful thought to rest say it aloud.  Your body is telling your brain that it needs to rest.

 Say what you want!  

I remember early on in my Working Motherhood years my husband said, "All you have to do is just ask me for help and I'll help.".  Wow!  Why didn't I think of that!  I know I'm pretty lucky to have a supportive husband.  But I couldn't understand why he couldn't figure out what I needed from me slamming doors and pots and pans.

If your hints absurdly loud sighs aren't getting you anywhere here are a few examples of being clear in what you need:

  • I feel that the dishes need to be done now but my body is tired.  Would you please do them so I can rest?
  • Its bath night and the bed sheets must be changed.  I don’t have the energy to do both so which one do you want to do?
  • This project has been my top priority.  If you’re asking me to switch gears and put in more work on something else I need to fully understand why.
  • I know we made plans tonight but I can’t make it.  My body is telling me to take it easy.  When is the next time your free?

Take back control of your time

Getting control over how you spend your time allows you to relax.  

With all the things to do it’s easy to fall into a time trap.  You believe that your time is not yours and you can’t control it. 

Well it’s time for a new perspective!

  Your time is yours and you must believe this.  You have chosen to raise a family.  You have chosen a career path and you’re working on a job that supports that career path.  How you manage all of this is yours to control. 

Even if you are unsure how to manage it (see tip #3) it’s up to you to seize control and then do something about it.  

Look within to ease chaos and relax

You have the answers inside of you to ease up your chaos so you can relax more.  Make this a priority so you can stop using your time up on chaos and more on relaxing.

Think about your most chaotic moments.  Then focus your energy on finding the root problem.  What is that one thing that is causing the chaos?  When you find that one thing ask yourself, “Is this it?” meaning is this the true root of the problem?  And then keep asking yourself this question until you feel it in your gut that yup, this is definitely the problem.


Once you become aware of the true problem you find a solution because you can’t ignore what you become aware of.  You’ll keep thinking about the root problem in-between everything you’re juggling.  You won’t be able to help it! 

But if you feel compelled to get to the bottom of things ASAP make a date with yourself tonight.  Sit still with a pad of paper and mind map your thoughts.  When are you focusing your energy on the solution be sure to include all of your crazy ideas because they can be the BEST!  If you don’t find the solution in that one sitting no worries.  Next time you sit to take another stab at it you’ll have your mind map to pick up where you left off.

This isn’t as hard as it seems because you are a brilliant woman!  You can figure it out.  The act of progress will bring relief and allow you to relax more and more.

Now I want to hear from you!

What chaos are you trying to ease right now?  Morning exit strategy?  Meal planning?  Bedtime routines?  Tell me about it over on my Facebook Page or send me an email at and let's find the root problem together!