Congratulations! Your little girl is getting married. But being the mother of the bride (or MOB) is not an easy role – not only is it a big job, but a job that has changed significantly over the years. Once upon a time, mothers of the bride did most of the wedding planning and, thus, got to have their own dreams realized. These days, your daughter will probably have her own vision – which may differ drastically with yours.
Here's how to play your role with aplomb.
Responsibilities of the mother of the bride:
- First and foremost, be a warm listener, chief cheerleader, constant complimenter, and otherwise a source of support for your daughter.
- Help the bride find the wedding dress of her dreams, as well as other wedding attire.
- Help look for wedding and reception locations, particularly if the wedding is taking place in your home town and not theirs.
- If you haven't already met, contact the groom's parents and arrange to meet.
- Choose your mother-of-the-bride dress as soon as possible, then let the groom's mother know what you have picked. If possible, send her a swatch of the fabric and/or pictures so that she can look for a gown that will compliment yours.
- Discuss the wedding budget with your daughter and her fiancé, including what you are willing to pay for, and the ideal total number of guests.
- Quickly draw up the guest list for your side of the family, and later, close to the date of the wedding, call any of your guests who are late in RSVPing.
- Reserve blocks of hotel rooms for your out-of-town guests, and possibly other guests as well.
- Help spread the word about where the couple are registered.
- Act as hostess at the wedding and reception, making sure guests are comfortable. This also includes standing in the receiving line, sitting at the parents table, and making sure the bride has greeted all her guests.
- Attend the wedding shower and rehearsal dinner.
- Possibly escort the bride down the aisle, and/or participate in other parts of the ceremony such as unity ceremonies.
- Help your daughter will any other details she asks you to!