The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Thank You Notes

Everything you need to know about sending wedding thank you notes.

You may have noticed that getting engaged leads to lots of happy celebrations, parties, and, of course, gifts! Whether you ask for them or not, you're likely to receive your fair share of tokens of love and support from those closest to you during this exciting time in your life. There are also plenty of people you should thank even if they didn't give you a physical gift, from the family members who throw you an ​engagement party to your bridal shower hostesses. The list of people to thank is long, (and likely growing!) so how do you keep up with it all and make sure you've properly thanked everyone? Here's the ultimate wedding thank you note resource to help you every step of the way!

  • 01 of 08

    Collecting Wedding Guest Addresses

    Address Book

    Erin Huffstetler

    First things first, you'll want to make sure you have all of the mailing addresses of the folks you need to thank. Obviously, you'll likely end up sending a thank you note to each person who attends your wedding celebrations or sends a gift in their absence. In today's digital age, most of us don't have a physical address book anymore, so you'll likely have to do some work to gather all of your loved ones' current addresses.

    One simple and free way to do this digitally is with Postable. Their online address book allows you to simply and efficiently collect and store all your friends' addresses in one place. It's super easy to set up and get started– just create your account and you'll be given a Postable link, which you can then send to all your friends and family, instructing them to fill in their mailing address.

    Postable automatically collects and organizes all the addresses into a convenient online address book which you can access from anywhere. Best of all, if your pals also use Postable's address book, whenever they update their address information it automatically gets updated in your address book, too! 

    So get to gathering those mailing addresses before you move on to the next step.

  • 02 of 08

    Who You Need to Thank

    Sending a thank you card is an important way to show your gratitude during your wedding.
    Getty Images

    The next task you'll need to tackle is making a list of all the people you need to thank and why. This can start from the beginning of your engagement all the way through the honeymoon and post-wedding.

    Here's a short, handy list of all the individuals you may need to thank. 

    • Anyone who attended your engagement party
    • Engagement party host
    • Anyone who attended a bridal shower
    • Bridal shower hosts
    • Anyone who's given you a gift
    • Your bridesmaids
    • Your groomsmen
    • Your officiants
    • Your wedding vendors
    • Your parents
    • Anyone who ran errands or did favors for you the week of the wedding
    • Anyone who contributed financially to the wedding day

    Is there anyone we missed? Add them to your list. 

  • 03 of 08

    Where to Buy Your Wedding Thank You Notes

    Bride & groom with Thank You sign
    Nerida McMurray Photography/Getty Images

    You can't exactly send a thank you note if you don't have some stationery on hand! There are so many great sources online and in stores for thank you notes, so you just have to decide on what style to use! You could order some personalized stationery on which to write your thank you notes, or you could go for a box of generic thank you cards from your local Target store. There's no right or wrong when it comes to your thank you note design style, just choose whatever you'd like to use. 

    Perhaps you'd like to wait until after the wedding to send customized Thank You Cards featuring photos from your big day. If that's the case, then you'll likely be putting off all your thank you note writing until after the honeymoon, but it does add for a nice, personalized touch. 

    Check out these great sources for personalized Wedding Thank You Cards include:

    Choose your favorites and order them in the appropriate quantity to meet your needs. Having stationery on hand is at least half the battle, so make sure you're prepared! 

  • 04 of 08

    What to Write in Your Wedding Thank You Notes

    Thank You Notes
    Image by Sheer Photo, Inc/Photodisc/Getty Images

    If you're having trouble deciding how to write your wedding thank you notes, I find that writing from the heart is best. Check out this previous article on About that shares different thank you note wording examples to find the best phrasing for every recipient's note. 

    You'll definitely want to address them by name and share a specific thank you for whatever gift they gave you, whether it was something they purchased or just the gift of their time and energy to help you with some aspect of planning. 

    Continue to 5 of 8 below.
  • 05 of 08

    When To Send Your Wedding Thank You Notes

    When should you send thank you notes by?
    When should you send your wedding thank you notes by?. Getty Images

    You might be wondering when is the appropriate length of time to send a thank you note, or simply just "how late is too late?" 

    It's a widespread rule of thumb that couples have at least a year after their big day to send their wedding thank you notes, but according to Post's book "Etiquette," sending a thank you note later than three months post-wedding is simply inexcusable.

    In general, it is best to send your thank-you notes in a timely manner, ideally as soon as possible after you receive the gift. Sending your thanks promptly gives the gift-giver more immediate appreciation for their thoughtfulness. 

  • 06 of 08

    How to Keep Track of Who You've Sent Thank You Notes To

    Do you have a Wedding Address and Thank You Note Spreadsheet? You need one!
    Getty Images

    Use Postable to export your address book and download it to your computer. You can then open your address book in spreadsheet form in Microsoft Excel. Then add a column to your spreadsheet labeled gifts and another labeled thank you notes. Use this spreadsheet to make note of what you were given in the gifts column, and then mark the thank you notes column with an X when you've actually sent the card. Alternately you could change the color or formatting of your spreadsheet to indicate the status as well. 

    Try to write your thank you notes as you receive the gifts to avoid overwhelm. You'll likely start receiving gifts long before the wedding, so don't put off saying thanks until after the big day is over. Staying on top of this task will only take a few minutes each week rather than having to spend hours writing thank you's in bulk. Save your hand from cramping and get it done as soon as you receive a gift. 

  • 07 of 08

    How to Make Sending Thank You Notes Easier

    Thank you notes

    Your hand might be cramping already just thinking about how many thank you notes you'll have to write, but here are some tips to make the process less painful:

    Make It a Date!

    • Set aside an evening to divvy up the list of thank you notes to write and split the task between yourself and your new (or soon-to-be) spouse. It's much less work if there are two people helping!

    Break It Up!

    • Don't try to write hundreds of thank you notes in one sitting. Instead, break up your thank you notes into groups of ten or so and do a group each night until you're finished! Hand cramps avoided!

    Make It Fun!

    • Put on your favorite music or TV show to have some good background noise, and reward yourself with a glass of wine or maybe some chocolate.

    Hire It Out!

    • Consider using Postable to write and send your thank you notes for you! You can type in your customized messaging for each individual note, and Postable prints all the cards with realistic-looking handwriting and they even mail them for you! Super efficient and super awesome.
  • 08 of 08

    Be an Etiquette Hero

    Woman writing a letter of gratitude.

    Todd Warnock/Getty Images

    Sending wedding thank you notes can be quite a daunting task to tackle, but it's so important to express your gratitude to each of the people who've made an impact on your day, no matter how large or small. Take a page out of Andy Bernard's playbook and send a thank you note today to someone who deserves some recognition. It's the polite thing to do!