Top Marriage Mistakes

Common Mistakes That Can Hurt Your Marriage

There is often a pattern to the marital problems and issues that people tend to have. You definitely do not want these problems and if you do, think about coming together to make some changes. Here's a list of the top ten things that you need to try to avoid, or fix, in your own marriage.

  • 01 of 10

    Lack of Respect

    cartoon of argument between man and woman
    Irene Chan/Vetta/Getty Images

    Showing a lack of respect to your partner is quite troubling in a marriage. Don't badmouth your spouse to your friends or associates. Spouses need to be thanked. They need to know they are appreciated. You both should be speaking kindly to each other. 

  • 02 of 10

    Not Listening to Your Spouse

    You should not simply hear the words spoken, but show you are actively engaged in conversation as well. This includes allowing your mind to wander, paying more attention to the computer or television set, ignoring body language, and interrupting. Expecting your spouse to be a mind reader is another big communication mistake.

  • 03 of 10

    A lack of physical affection or sexual intimacy will turn lovers into roommates. This is a death knell for a marriage. Seek medical advice and therapeutic counseling if necessary. Spouses should not leave their partners wondering why there is no interest in sex. It's not fair to either of you.

  • 04 of 10

    Always Having to Be Right

    It is impossible for you to be always right. If you try, you may win the battle, but lose the war! Having to be right includes lecturing your mate, or having to have the last word. Very few people can love a know-it-all forever. Admit when you make a mistake or that you don't have all the answers. And please, please, don't answer every simple question your spouse asks with a long-winded boring dissertation on the topic.That doesn't answer the question.

    Continue to 5 of 10 below.
  • 05 of 10

    Not Walking the Talk

    Actions do speak louder than words. When you say you'll do something, do it. When you say you won't do something, follow through. Keep your promises. If this does not happen, it will erode the trust and safety between you. Your partner MUST be able to count on you!

  • 06 of 10

    If your spouse says the teasing is hurtful, considers it a put-down, or thinks that it is inappropriate, then stop it. Claiming that your spouse doesn't have a sense of humor or is too sensitive is being inconsiderate and unkind. 

  • 07 of 10

    Dishonesty

    There is no room in a marriage for deceit or dishonesty. Having lies and secrets in your relationship can create distance and lack of trust between the two of you. Be honest with each other. Honesty is considered a must-have by most married couples. 

  • 08 of 10

    Bad habits like having gross personal hygiene habits, always being late, or nitpicking everything are not good for your relationship. The worst part is when you know you are annoying and you continue to annoy. If your spouse brings up an issue he or she finds aggravating, make a concerted effort to make a change. 

    Continue to 9 of 10 below.
  • 09 of 10

    Being selfish is when you spend money on yourself, but make a big deal if your spouse spends a dime. It's not wanting to open your home to friends and family because you prefer to be alone and don't want the hassle of entertaining. It's hogging the remote, only going to cheap restaurants when you could afford better, or not watching movies your spouse wants to see. It's also, being uncompromising. 

  • 10 of 10

    Every couple needs to be able to handle conflict in a constructive way. Having an angry outburst so that you can win an argument will make you the loser in the end. It's also manipulative. Learn how to fight fair and to make your marital relationship the winner of any disagreement the two of you have. If you still find anger get's the best of you, get some professional help or read a self-help book on the topic.

     

    *Article updated by Marni Feuerman