You might not realize that you are emasculating your spouse with your actions, unintentionally damaging his ego as well as your relationship. Perhaps there is an undertone of disrespect or you are generally an “alpha” female. Many men have their worst fears realized after they get married and suddenly find themselves wondering what happened to them.
Here are five ways that you might be emasculating your husband:
1. You tell him he is a coward or a wimp
Telling a man he is a coward or a wimp is a sure way to emasculate him. Expecting a man to be able to calmly handle every situation thrown his way is unreasonable. Calling him weak, scared, or small will not make him feel good and will not force him to react the way you think he should. Maybe it is time to realize that he is only human too and he needs your encouragement, not your put downs.
2. You let him know you could do better
Telling a man that you could be with someone else who is wealthier, stronger, or more successful is another way to emasculate him. Saying these things will not make him feel worthy of you nor will they inspire him to better himself. You should be with him because you like him for who he is. If you honestly thought you could do better, then you probably should have. No man wants to be reminded that you had or still have options you find more appealing.
If you are doing this, then you need to look in the mirror as you might actually dislike who you see.
3. You treat him like a child
Treating a grown man as though he is a child will not make him feel like the man he wants to be in your eyes. It is important to remember that he might not do things exactly how you would or precisely on your timetable, but he will get them done.
Don't nag, yell, and act like his mother who needs to make sure he does his chores and eats his vegetables. Treat him like the grown man he is and he will do things that need to be done. Do not forget to show him you appreciate what he does. Keep in mind that he survived just fine on his own well before you arrived on the scene.
4. You downplay his professional and academic achievements
If your man gets a raise that was smaller than the raise you got, you don't have to remind him of that. Do the right thing and be happy for him instead of making him feel he can't live up to your expectations. Don't rub it in his face that your degree is higher than his degree. If he didn't attend college, don't tell him that if he would just go, he could make more of himself. Focus instead on telling him how much he impresses you, and celebrate his achievements.
5. You never let him take care of you
Men take pride in taking care of and protecting those they love. If you are always telling your man that you don't need him, you are emasculating him. Let your man open doors for you, reach things that are too high, and open stubborn bottles. It is a misperception that these things make you look weak. They do boost his ego and make him feel like the man in the relationship.
It’s not about acting like a damsel in distress to make him feel strong and masculine, just let the man be the man!
If you are doing some of these behaviors, take a look at your own family history. Did you see some of this in your family, particularly with your parents? Or, do you have an unnerving need to control? Regardless of where it comes from, your marriage will begin to crumble if you keep this up. Emasculating a man is not a form of motivation. It will not encourage or inspire him to better himself. To love a man is to raise him up and show him what he adds to your life.
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