If you've taken a stroll around the internet you might have noticed that there seems to be a plethora of wedding planning tips out there for brides, but not so much for the grooms. For the most part, wedding media is targeted towards women rather than the gentlemen, so we thought it would be fun (and helpful) to round up some planning advice and tips for grooms, so they can either take a more active role in the wedding planning or serve as a strong support system to their brides.
We reached out to several wedding vendors and experts in their fields to ask them for their top tips for grooms. Let's see what they said!
Choose something you're interested in.
Chances are if you're a guy, you probably don't care much about color schemes, flower types or fabric swatches. But there's so much more that goes into planning a wedding than just the pretty details. When it comes to putting together a wedding, there are logistics to coordinate, timelines to figure out, budgets to balance and so much more. Basically, there's a long list of tasks that needs to be checked off and there's bound to be something of interest for you to tackle to help out your fiancée.
So first things first: figure out which aspects of the wedding you are most interested in, or that fit within your set of skills. Choose to place your focus on helping with those areas of interest or skill. If you consider yourself to be a foodie, offer to work on the wedding menu.
If you're really into music, do your part by coming up with an epic playlist. Choosing areas that you're interested in will make you less likely to become bored with your role – heck, you might even enjoy yourself!
According to Melanie Marconi of Where Will They Stay?, one particular area that many grooms help with is the hotel room block for your guests.
“We see many grooms helping with the room block process — it's an easy project to fully let the groom do on his own and it’s a critical first step of wedding planning, so it helps the groom feel engaged in the process from the get-go. Plus, the groom can use a free room block procurement service to make the process easier – the guests will be grateful!”
Be honest and speak up.
One thing that's so important about planning your wedding is to be honest with your partner. If you're not terribly interested in helping out with the planning and your fiancée loves handling every detail, then perhaps you'll make her happiest by stepping aside and letting her make the decisions. If you feel strongly about being involved in certain discussions and decisions, let your voice be heard. Your wedding day should be a reflection of both of you as individuals and as a couple, so if you have an opinion be sure to voice it.
Alex Chalk of Taylor'd Events suggests being upfront with your partner about your overall interest in planning. "If you aren’t interested, chat about some portions you are interested in (even if mildly), like the bar, music, and food. Help out with those aspects, even if it is just sharing your thoughts."
The same goes for letting your fiancée know about any dealbreakers or turnoffs when it comes to wedding choices. If your bride would love to have a fancy black tie affair but you have more of a relaxed backyard barbecue in mind, be sure to share your opinion and work to come to a compromise you are both happy with. Communication is key in your relationship in general, so it will also be beneficial to be open with each other throughout your planning process.
Take care of your people.
Choose to take an active role in the decisions that involve your people: aka your family and your groomsmen. You can basically consider these areas your domain as the groom, so be sure to weigh in on choices and take on any tasks associated with these areas.
Chalk suggests taking on the aspects of the wedding that relate to your side of the family, such as handling the invitation list and gathering addresses for your relatives.
"Chat with parents about who they expect to invite and pull the addresses – it’ll save your partner the headache of getting them on her own. Understand that you might have a hard conversation or two about keeping the list to a manageable size for your budget and venue.”
Araceli Vizcaino-S of Azazie encourages grooms to take an active decision-making role in choosing the attire for himself and his groomsmen, saying “Sure, you may not get a say on what the ladies will be sporting, but don’t hesitate to chime in and speak to what the guys will be wearing. Of course, you want to look your best along with all of your groomsmen. Pictures last forever and you don't want to look back and regret what you wore!”
Offer your assistance when possible.
Christi Lopez of Bergerons Flowers & Events shares that just offering your help and being there is sometimes the best way to be of support to your fiancée. “Offer to take on some of the tasks of setting up appointments with vendors, as well as chiming in when your opinion is asked. If they ask, they usually want your input!” It's better to have an opinion than no opinion.
Be sure to communicate with your partner about what they need help with. Audrey Isaac of 100 Candles says that asking how you can help is the key: "Always ask if you can help with something, even if it's the most mundane task of the planning process. Your partner may need a break from counting RSVPs or researching guest accommodations, so be sure to jump in from time to time to keep them sane. When you get involved in the planning process, you'll enjoy your wedding day more as you see the details that you worked on come to fruition." Lindsay Fogarty of Fantasy Sound Event Services agrees saying, "Whether it’s selecting music for the wedding or organizing the RSVPs, assisting with all the mundane, admin work that goes on behind the scenes will help alleviate a lot of stress!”
Photographer James Berglie of Be Photography suggests jumping in close to crunch time to take on setting appointments, getting payments to vendors, and more in order to ease the burden on the bride.
"About a month or so out from the wedding is when most brides will typically start following up with their vendors to make sure everything is good to go. This is something that the groom can easily take off her hands because it's just sending emails and making phone calls to the photographer, florist, limo, etc. Tell your bride-to-be to give you the follow-up checklist and take it from there. That's one less thing she has to worry about, and it's a relatively simple task!”
Be there for each other.
The main way grooms can help their brides with wedding planning is just by offering support. You and your fiancée are in this thing together. It's a big day and as we've established, there's a ton of details to figure out. Even if you just offer a supportive shoulder and a listening ear when she has doubts and worries, that may be enough for your fiancée. Megan Velez of Destination Weddings advises grooms to be a sounding board for their fiancées and to just be there to listen if needed.
"One of the best ways someone can help their partner in planning their wedding is to simply be present and listen. Even if you may not have opinions on certain things, don't dismiss your partner’s thoughts - listen to her and let her bounce ideas off of you. Ultimately, you’ll partner will appreciate having you there throughout the process," says Velez.
We hope this advice proves helpful to you as you navigate the waters of planning your wedding. Happy Planning!