Who Is Supposed to Throw a Baby Shower?

Baby Shower Etiquette for Hostesses

baby shower decor, gifts, and snacks

The Spruce / Margot Cavin

Who is supposed to throw a baby shower? This is an age-old question that every pregnant woman must answer for herself based on her family's traditions.

Traditional baby shower etiquette still firmly applies to the planning aspect of the baby shower. The following rules apply to who can throw the shower in most settings:

  • It is considered inappropriate for you or your spouse to throw the baby shower.
  • It is considered rude to ask someone to throw you a baby shower.
  • Typically a close friend or one of the grandmas-to-be will throw a baby shower.
  • It is acceptable to have a sister or other family member throw the baby shower.

Usually, someone will step up to throw a baby shower fairly early on. If you don't hear talk of a baby shower in the works consider who the likely candidates are for baby shower hostess. You can drop some subtle hints about baby shower planning or if they offer to do something, consider asking for a baby shower.

When to Throw a Baby Shower

Who throws a baby shower may also depend on when to throw a baby shower and how that fits in your family. If you throw one later in pregnancy, you have more time to figure out who is available to throw it and where it will be held (particularly if your family is across several states or cities). You may also throw something called a Sip and See, which happens once your baby is born.

Sometimes you might feel like your chances of having a shower are dwindling. You might feel like no one will step forward. Then you might find that people were hesitant because they assumed you already had a baby shower planned or perhaps there is even a surprise baby shower being planned.

"My best friend was going to throw my baby shower," says one mother-to-be. "The problem was that she was going to be moving temporarily but at the wrong time to throw my shower. So we had another friend who stepped in to throw the shower. Luckily my first friend came back to attend the shower, but just wouldn't have been able to throw it."

Multiple Baby Showers

Who throws a baby shower can lead to some issues depending on the makeup and relationships within your family and friend groups. Some people will wind up having multiple baby showers thrown for them, sometimes without their knowledge until it's too late to combine them. Other times, the combination of showers would not be a good idea. This can be a work shower and a family shower, or perhaps even a his family and her family baby shower. Whatever combination works well for you is what you should do.

"My family and his family don't get along very well," says another mom. "Our wedding shower was enough to prove that over and over. So I was thrilled when my sister offered to throw me a shower and his mother asked to throw me a shower. I just never had to deal with that combination of relatives and it worked out perfectly."

No matter when you have your baby shower, or who throws the party, remember to relax and have fun. It's a pretty special event to be shared with friends and family. Don't let family politics get in the way.